We Almost Had a Justice League Episode About Martian Manhunter’s Oreo Addiction

Image source: DC Comics.

Comic book writer J.M. DeMatteis talked about how he almost got Martian Manhunter’s addiction to Oreos on the airwaves.

On his official website, DeMatteis discussed the writing he did for animated series like Justice League Unlimited on Cartoon Network. DeMatteis wrote seven episodes of DC Comics’ animated superhero team-up, including an adaptation of Alan Moore’s For The Man Who Has Everything. However, there was one more episode in the pipeline. An episode so out-of-the-ordinary for the dramatic Justice League Unlimited that DeMatteis couldn’t believe he was actually approached to write it. Here’s how he described the situation that lead to the lost episode:

One day, way back in 2004, I got a call from two of the show’s incredibly talented writer-producers, Stan Berkowitz and Dwayne McDuffie.  They’d cooked up an idea—based, in part, on the Oreo addiction Keith Giffen and I had given to J’onn J’onnzz during our original Justice League International run—and wanted me to develop it into an outline.  At first I thought they were putting me on—the story, especially J’onn’s arc, was pretty outrageous, even by Giffen-DeMatteis standards—but they were dead serious.  I remember sitting in my office taking notes as the two of them laid out the beats of the wonderful, and very funny, plot—which, had the episode made it to air, could have been the JLU equivalent of Star Trek’s “The Trouble with Tribbles.”

Unfortunately, the Justice League Unlimited episode titled “Misfortune Cookies” was given a resounding disapproval from the higher ups. While the episode never came to be, DeMatteis shared his outline of the story in its entirety. It’s a long read, but well worth it for Justice League fans. Or, anyone looking for a good laugh. Here’s an excerpt from the script:

INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE J’ONN’S QUARTERS – NIGHT: Fire, Ice and GL converge…GL buzzing J’onn and asking him to let them in. J’onn, in a voice that sounds demented, feverish, demands that they go away, leave him alone. “J’onn, please,” Ice implores him, “whatever it is — ” “Go AWAY!” he roars. “That’s it,” says an angry and worried GL…

…who uses his power-ring to blast the door in. They rush in…

INT. J’ONN’S QUARTERS – NIGHT/CONTINUOUS: …to find the room in semidarkness. J’onn, sweating, eyes glazed…huddled in the corner, sitting on the floor, an empty Oreo bag on his lap. His belly has grown yet again…hanging over his belt. The entire room is floor to ceiling Oreo packages, some full, some empty. J’onn at first looks embarrassed, ashamed. Then angry: “I told you to go away!”

Again, the full outline of “Misfortune Cookies” is available on DeMatteis’ website.