Movie Review: Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)
Posted By Jen Sylvia on April 14, 2013
In theory, smashing together elements from any Lord of the Rings film, The Chronicles of Narnia, Leelee Sobieski’s Joan of Arc, and Tom Cruise’s Legend would make a great film. In actuality, when poorly conceived and executed, it becomes one of the most dragging films to sit through.
Some movies are good because while one or two parts can be lacking, the rest can often make up for it. Low budget? Great cast! Bad choice for lead role? Fantastic story and effects. Lacking character development? Excellent plot. See where this is heading? Huntsman couldn’t bring any of its requisite pieces together to make any aspect of it work. And in the interest of fairness, the costuming was brilliantly done and some of the sweeping landscape cinematography and art direction were phenomenal. The special effects were lovely to boot (it’s what inspired the viewing in the first place). But when the plot is choppy, the details hiccup, and the protagonist has just about zero lines, the film is doomed and that which is pretty just can’t mend its failures.
The opening visual gave me hope.
That hope was unrewarded.
Picking one specific point that can attribute to Huntsman’s demise is nigh impossible: “Look! All these flavors of ice cream that I cannot stand and I’m required to pick one to actually eat.” In two hours and seven minutes, the sheer number of problems, from the nitpicky to the grandiose, abounded.
The thing is, Huntsman had a lot going for it. Objectively, this retelling of Snow White is interesting and, I suspect, in the hands of another writer, director and editing crew it could have made it to the screen relatively unscathed. Additionally, the casting was overall well thought out, with the exception of Kristen Stewart. I wanted to like her in this role yet, fairly, I wanted to see more than just Bella Swan (and I’ve seen and hilariously enjoyed every Twilight film). Stewart simply wasn’t able to communicate anything about Snow White’s strength, purity or army-rousing abilities. Ravenna’s brother, Finn (Sam Spruell), on the other hand, showed a character that was both scared little boy and a viscerally despicable adult. Even the titular Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth), who was enjoyable on screen, couldn’t give me that much to go on. The blame is on director Rupert Sanders entirely.
Ravenna’s evil back.
Ravenna, the evil sorceress queen (Charlize Theron), is married the day after being saved by the king and had a hand sewn dress ready in time. Detailed costuming, unrealistic ability. Perhaps she was given one of the old queen’s dresses? Anyway, Ravenna kills the king (Noah Huntley) but leaves Snow White locked in a tower upwards of a decade. Theron does a good job of the inherently power-hungry, vacant queen, but for some undisclosed reason, bathes with her crown on and lets Snow live. And when Snow White does escape, she’s strong and capable enough to be on the run for days. Fear fuels a lot of things, but exhaustion is finite. So is my ability to believe that there’s this white horse, just waiting for when Snow White escapes.
The drunken Huntsman ordered to find and kill Snow was sadly adorable, as was his repeatedly faltering accent. His feelings for the princess are shown to grow deep, but we’re given no real reason to believe why between interaction or communication. What’s worse, Hemsworth repeatedly upstages Stewart in both narrative and screen presence. No, actually what’s worse than that is the one defensive fighting maneuver the huntsman teaches Snow White is the move [spoiler alert] that kills Ravenna at the end. Speaking of, Ravenna’s slow, drawn out, also-faltering accent laden speeches were tiring and especially interruptive to the pacing toward what this film deemed its climax.
The dwarves. And their unruly Huntsman.
Near the middle mark of the film, when the dwarves finally appear, Snow White is instantly trusted because one of them realizes she is “of the blood,” a very important story detail that is ridiculously underexplored, considering it’s realized in the finale that it’s only Snow who can kill the queen. It all has to do with these three drops of blood Snow White’s mother bled before becoming impregnated with Snow, the blood Ravenna’s mother bled to give Ravenna her power, and ultimately what… no, I don’t know where that was going because it didn’t make any sense in the end. The dwarves, however, are cute and clever, but their presence seems to be plunked into the movie because any story of Snow White requires dwarves. Their meaning and specialness are lost when they could have been fully exploited for their witty and crass ways.
When Snow and William (Sam Claflin, who should have had far more screen time), her childhood friend who escaped Ravenna’s madness, finally reunite they recognize each other. After, again, upwards of a decade. It is supremely disingenuous to imagine two persons being able to know who the other is after such a span of time, especially from childhood to adulthood. And if that were feasible, wouldn’t Snow realize when Ravenna took on her friend’s form to poison her? But no. Alas, how did Ravenna even know to use William’s guise to fool Snow?
Snow and the Stag.
The retooled tale also mixes the magic of fairy tale with religious theology. Stewart, in one of her few speaking scenes, utters a prayer to God. Many cinematic endeavors have mixed magic and religion well, yet here, it was jarringly out of place. In the land of the fairy, where the dwarves have led Snow and the Huntsman to perceived sanctuary, Snow approaches the White Stag which smacks of the Pevensie children in Narnia meeting Aslan. Or for anyone who has seen Legend, it’s maybe more like when Mia Sara’s character meets the unicorn. And in Snow’s final speaking scene, one of two scenes I can actually remember, she’s able to impassion the forces that escaped her doomed father’s court so many years ago to fight against the most powerful magical force they’ve ever known. The speech itself was uncomfortable and embarrassing, as is the appalling lack of planning shown for this siege. It’s when we see Stewart in plate mail that it just went all Joan of Arc for me.
Joan of Snow.
None of the plot devices of Huntsman rang true or connected in what felt to be the right order or in any sensible manner. I understand that Snow is linked to the land and its life, but the points that were supposed to be drawn from one plot dot to the next got lost. Long, drawn out traveling scenes, spans of time with little to no dialogue, lack of character backstory and disjointed interactions had my mind reeling with its failures. I wanted so terribly to at least enjoy this film. I wanted the effects and beautifully framed shots to give a sense of depth but I was given nothing. In point of fact, the best thing I can say about Huntsman is Thor looks fantastic in leathers and at least I was knitting.
The score:
0 Bags of Eaten Popcorn
2 Interesting Moments
Watch again? Never. Well, maybe. To MST3K it, yes.
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